Incurable Fanatic

This blog post comes out of procrastination of homework and lack of sleep. As I sit here at IHOP I have so much going on in my mind. I have asked the Lord to give me His heart for His people. Though days it is a terrible burden I know that I couldn't ask for a better gift. As I sit and watch these two women sit at a table next to me, I am intrigued by their big hair and lack of clothing, and my heart sinks. My mind instantly turns to all I know of sex trafficking. I can't help but wonder, "Are they in bondage?" As I continue to listen to bits of their conversation, I seem to feel certain of they are. I am burning to go talk to them, but I hear the voice of the Lord, "No my beloved" and then He reminds of the hotline stickers in my bag. I instantly go to the bathroom and post a sticker in each stall of a human trafficking hotline number that anyone who is in trouble can call for help. I return my table and can't help but feel I have done nothing. I cry in my heart, "Lord, why do I feel so helpless lately? Aren't I supposed to love the orphans, widows and prostitutes?" All I feel like I have been doing is running away or doing the easy thing. "when, Lord, when can I love them?"

I sit and ponder awhile longer and realize my striving heart and self-righteous attitude. I so easily make it about me and how I can do something to feel better about myself. Thank you for your grace and mercy Lord. Last night I went and saw the documentary "Nefarious: Merchant of Souls" for the second time. This documentary, created by the organization Exodus Cry, is about sex trafficking around the world. The first time I saw it I weeped and felt so much brokeness. This time I was hurting for the victims and traffickers, but my heart also fell more in love with the Lord and his gentleness and love for His daughters and sons. I have so much hope that He has already set the captives free.

A staff member of Exodus Cry came out after the showing and I was in awe of his boldness to speak truth when its uncomfortable. He called the church out about turning our heads and trying to forget this issue. He reminded me that this is a spiritual battle. This is bigger then us. Gods heart is broken for injustice. He wants His people to be set free and to know their purpose and the love He has for them! Oh, I won't that more then anything for the beautiful daughters of the Beloved. I want them to know they are loved, I want them to know they are not shamed or condemned, I want them to know they are beautiful, they are holy, they are clean, they are forgiven!

I am called to be an incurable fanatic, I am claiming my identity so the captives can know theirs!